I’ll preface this article with a few things:
I’m not a fitness influencer or wellness expert, nor do I want to be. I’m just a woman who has, for years, reluctantly agreed with all the evidence that exercise is good for you; yet, has struggled year after year to incorporate it into my life.
I can’t count the number of times I’ve tried to get my fitness shit together. I’ll start a new exercise plan, struggle through a few workouts, then decide to “take a break” and find myself right back at square one.
If you’re reading this, you’ve probably been in the same boat. Maybe you’ve even started yet another new health journey (#NewYearNewMeForReaIlSwear)! Now, I make no claims that what worked for me will work for you. But I’m writing this:
Just in case some tips I share will resonate and put you on the right track, and
Selfishly, for my future self — a blueprint I can use should I fall off the wagon again.
OK. That’s enough disclaimer. Let’s get to the real shit.
I’ve broken down my learnings into 3 sections — sharing what worked for me during each part of my fitness journey:
STARTER PACK: When I was starting out and literally just wanted some progress.
WALKIN’ THE WALK: When I had one or two good habits down and wanted to build on them.
ALL GLOW’D UP: When I’d found my stride and was looking to accelerate.
So this is a choose-your-own-adventure kinda read — feel free to jump to the section that applies the most to you. But before you do, read the TO ALL THE FITNESS PEEPS tips below; these apply to EVERYONE and are probably my most important learnings.
TO ALL THE FITNESS PEEPS (WHO’VE TRIED AND FAILED BEFORE)
Give yourself grace
Be kind to yourself. There’s nothing worse than that negative voice in your head that points out all the things you do wrong; that reminds you of how you missed yet another workout — which means you might as well give up. But fitness is a long-term investment (yuck, I know 🙄) — what you’re ultimately aiming for is a lifetime of good habits that add up to better health. So, in the grand scheme of things, a handful of missed workouts is nothing on a 30, 40, or 50+ year scale, and doesn’t define you or your ability to get your shit together.
Listen to your body
#1 Rest is the most critical part of your fitness journey. With each workout, you’re pushing your body to new limits — tearing muscles you never even knew existed. And our bodies are somehow okay with that, healing themselves over time! Rest is key to that healing process. If your body is like: not today, I’m healing — listen. If it hurts, don’t “work through the pain”. If you’ve given it your all and can’t keep going, stop. And, most importantly, get adequate sleep. Rest. Recover. Repeat.
#2 Stretching is essential. We’re no longer those nimble youths we used to be; our muscles are either asleep from a day of sitting at our desks and/or years of doing the bare minimum to survive. We can’t expect them to just magically wake up and work. So stretch before and after your workouts. And if something feels tight, stop. Stretch it out, then try again.
# 3 Intuition is real. Trying a move in class and sense some hesitation from deep within? That hesitation might be your body signalling something isn’t right — perhaps a lack of ability. Just because your classmates can do it doesn’t mean you can or should — this is your journey, not theirs. Don’t let your pride lead you to injuries; I’ve nursed enough pulls, tears, and strains to know that pride can greatly derail your progress.
Celebrate yourself
You’re the only person who sees everything you do and every choice you make — big or small. So who better to give you kudos than yourself? Get that extra push up? Give yourself a high five! Overcome procrastination and make it to the gym? Congratulate yourself on following through. Finally get that move you’ve been trying for months? Take a little moment to celebrate! We all know the psychological benefits of positive reinforcement. Be your own cheering squad; you’ll be surprised by what little moments of acknowledgement and celebration can do!
STARTER PACK: Just starting out — baby steps please
Start small
I can’t count the number of times I’ve written down a goal along the lines of: work out at least five times a week. Come on now, who are we kidding??? Five times a week???
I’d never make it more than a few weeks before I gave up. You know what worked? One pushup. A single pushup before bed. It took 5 seconds. And if the procrastination gods came knocking on my door, I’d think of Scottie Barnes and his muscular arms coaching me through my pushup. Over time, I added another one. Then two more. Then another three. And eventually, I was doing 25 push-ups before bed. It may have not been a “real workout”, but it was something. Something is better than nothing. And nothing is what I’d spent years doing, so… 🤷.
Fit it in where you can
I used to have a very rigid idea of what working out meant: throwing on gym clothes, carving out 45-60 minutes, and working my ass off. This made it really easy to fail at my fitness goals: I was always too busy or too tired to work out — or stuck looking for the perfect class to try. But then I discovered exercise snacks — bite-sized workouts throughout the day: A pushup before bed. Three squats as I microwaved my lunch. Ten leg raises as I brushed my teeth. A set of stretches as my morning coffee brewed. These small snacks added up and were a great way to start moving without needing a huge commitment.
Find the ONE thing you love — or at least like — doing
Find your fitness gateway — that one habit-forming activity that kicks off your fitness journey. Mine was pole dancing. I’m not a gym person. I’ve failed at home workouts. But pole had sat in the back of my mind ever since I watched a performance that had me gawking at the strength and skill required to make something so hard look effortless. Years later, when I finally signed up for intro classes, I was hooked. I had zero strength and could barely spin around the pole, but it didn’t matter — I kept going back. I boil it down to:
Inherent interest: Doing something that had piqued my interest for years.
Small, locked-in commitment: Signing up for an annual pass — one class a week — a tangible monetary commitment to keep me honest for a year.
Tangible progress: Seeing my strength and abilities slowly increase — even with just an hour a week.
So find that one thing that intrinsically pulls you in, lock yourself into at least a few months of commitment to let you build that habit, then note & celebrate your progress — however small — to keep you going.
WALKIN’ THE WALK: Ready to build on good habits
Keep your eyes on the prize
Once you’ve found that one activity that you love doing, use it as your launchpad to more. I’ll repeat — I’m not a gym person. But after a year of doing pole, it was clear that if I wanted to do even more cool moves, I needed to cross-train to build more strength and expand my abilities. I’m still not a gym person, but the gym is now a means to an end; my ultimate goal is to get better at pole so, sure, I’ll lift weights! And because flexibility and mobility are key to achieving my pole goals, I started a morning stretching and mobility routine that I do as I wait for my coffee to brew. Any time I consider skipping these things, I remind myself how much they’ll ultimately help my pole game.
Lie to yourself
How did I go from struggling through a single pushup to doing 25 in a row? Psychology, baby! I play little tricks on my brain:
Chunking: When counting reps, I do so in groups of 3, 4, or 5, and rarely use big numbers (1,2,3. 1,2,3… or 1,2,3,4,5. 1,2,3,4,5...). Small, grouped numbers make reps more tolerable, making higher total numbers achievable.
Slow counts: 1 “Dottie second” = 1.5 - 2 real seconds. Slower, paced out counts are especially helpful when doing hold movements; in the end, it adds up to longer hold time overall.
One more: I’m my own personal trainer in my brain — psyching myself up to start my workout, congratulating myself throughout, and asking myself for one more rep before I quit a set. That last one sounds something like this: “One more… Ok, great! One more…Fantastic! And one last one!” And with that, I get 3 extra reps for the price of one.
Make it fun
Listen, working out is hard. So it’s common to want to take the path of least resistance: to stop when we know we could do more, to cheat with less strict form, or to skip it altogether. Injecting fun into my fitness routine doesn’t fully solve this problem, but it helps make the hard work more bearable! I’ve spent hours searching multiple stores to find the perfect workout socks (long, bright, neon) that boost my energy when I roll them on before heading to the gym; ditto with outfits that make me feel hot as I twirl around the pole. My gym buddy and I talk shit or poke fun at each other as we catch our breath between sets; and the simple act of having a gym buddy makes going to the gym more fun — and a little more effortless.
ALL GLOW’D UP: Found your stride — looking to accelerate
Bring fitness into your home
10 months into my pole journey, it dawned on me that if I wanted to improve my skills, I’d have to do more pole. One class a week meant only about 45 minutes of pole time — juggling learning new moves and practising old ones. And I didn’t have the budget nor the time to haul myself downtown 5 times a week like some folks in my classes. So I made the decision to get a home pole — one of the best investments of my life!
A home pole means that I can technically do pole at any time: practise moves, learn from Pole YouTubers, and introduce all my guests to the good news of pole 😂. This and other home equipment I’ve bought over time (yoga blocks, bands, dip bars, gymnastic rings) have made doing the fitness things I love so much more accessible — and were a game changer for my progress.
Build a realistic routine that supports your fitness goals
If you’re looking to accelerate your fitness journey and achieve progressively harder goals, you’re gonna have to make time and space for the things that will get you there. Once you’re clear on a handful of goals, you need to work backwards to realistically define what investments you’ll need to make to get there. For me, this has meant crafting a fitness schedule that includes time for skillwork, strength, flexibility, mobility, and, most importantly, rest — while balancing other commitments like relationships, hobbies, work, and general adulting. Needless to say, I can’t do everything everyday, so I spread it out throughout the week. This is my current schedule:
I try to stick to this schedule as much as I can, forgive myself when I can’t, and adjust it as my life, skills, and goals change.
Video tape yourself
At the end of my first pole class, the instructor gave us permission to tape ourselves as we danced through the routine she’d taught us.
A few folks grabbed their phones and set them up; I wasn’t one of them — who the hell video tapes themselves at a class??? I soon learned that it wasn’t about vanity or Instagram — it was about feedback and progress. Recording the moves meant you could practise them later; you could watch and correct your technique; and over time, your videos would become evidence of your progress. Still, I remained stubborn; I took a video every now and then, but I mostly relied on the mirror and my senses. My lightbulb moment came over a year later when I taped some moves I’d been doing for a while and thought I had perfected; watching it back, I not only noticed a number of things I’d been doing incorrectly (even if the moves felt right), but also got inspiration for new transitions and combinations I could try. My takeaway: video is like having a coach watching and guiding you through your sessions, which ultimately accelerates your progress. So get a phone stand and start recording!
For years, I made no progress in my fitness journey; life got in the way, procrastination always won. And, let’s be honest, it’s difficult to do the things that are good for us in the long run. Over the past two years, through trial and error, the tips and learnings I’ve shared in this article have made the hard things easier — leading to progress and small wins that have compounded over time. As with any journey, there’ve been setbacks (every once in a while life still gets in the way, procrastination wins, and injuries derail my progress); but when I think of myself as a 75-year-old woman who can still squat, do push ups, and do tricks on the pole, I pick myself right up again and take the baby steps I need to get back on track.
Where are you on your fitness journey? What’s one challenge you want to overcome? One change you’d like to try?